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obligatory warning as per usual that lots of my qualms are coming from my position as someone who's privileged enough to be complaining about comparatively minor things rather than the multitude of extraordinarily brutal events happening in the world. i'm just so sick of having to interact with people who automatically treat me as though i'm worse than them just for being perceived as a girl. i'm not not self aware; i know generally how the way i act comes off and of course not everybody will like me. that's a given, and i've made peace with that. i don't attempt to make myself likable to people who i know will hate me regardless, but it's just unspeakably frustrating to realize that since they're men, they've already got these notions of superiority instilled within them. minor things like calling me a silly girl have this terrible aftertaste. if i were a boy, would they be saying this? it's incredulously demeaning and infantilizing in a way that's genuinely laughable. i don't think i have as big of an ego as i could have, but when i see comments like these being made about me i can't help but feel honored. like, wow, you've thought about me that much? but on the other hand, it's just flat out disappointing. i know these people and i know their friends and it's not as if they're only surrounded by boys. i think certain queer men have helped themselves to portraying themselves as feminine while still harboring all of these misogynistic ideals. being a gay man doesn't make you immune from being misogynistic. it drives me up a wall whenever i see this. treating being part of one persecuted minority as an immunity to being a total pos is unfortunately incredibly common. this has been said ad nauseum but it's seriously got the same feeling as white queers who think their queerness overrides their whiteness. two can coexist.
anyhow, beyond the queer-men-can-be-misogynists spiel, there's just in general an intersection between misogyny and all the other beliefs that assemble your average bigot. i've been thinking a lot about what another man i've got the unfortunate misery of knowing thinks about me and it's just ridiculous. men cannot stand a woman being better than them. inferiority complexes make anyone miserable, but a man with an inferiority complex to a woman is just a terrible thing. even in a liberal place that claims to be better off than somewhere in the deep south, the hatred of women from men is so ingrained in society it's hard to conceive of a world where it's not borderline natural. it's just a classic; man blaming woman for something that was the man's fault. not to air out all my dirty laundry here, but it's quite ridiculous if we think for even a minute. my performance doesn't have anything to do with yours, and you calling me pretentious is rich for someone who's got a notorious reputation as a slacker. anyhow, back to the original point of misogyny intersecting with other bigoted beliefs. this is really a natural line of thinking; if you hate women, there's obviously a good chance that'll extend elsewhere. the person i'm referencing here is no real exception. i know i mentioned before that queer men tend to think of their queerness as trumping any sort of misogyny that they could spew. that's not an attempt to be homophobic, and i doubt we could have a real conversation if you thought of it that way. minorities are not above criticism. anyhow, there's high comorbidity between misogyny and transphobia & homophobia. that's probably in part since there's just a ton of misogyny ingrained into society (as i've said) in general, but there's just a level of added cruelty when misogyny's combined with either of the two. sissy as an insult doesn't just target a perceived lack of masculinity but furthermore a perceived presence of femininity. even in cases not directly linked back to misogyny there's still an undercurrent of it. it's exhausting and lord knows it'll only get worse. because i'm petty and hold grudges, i'll just end this by saying that i hope both of those men i mentioned continue to be bested by women in their lives. deserve nothing less.
anyhow, beyond the queer-men-can-be-misogynists spiel, there's just in general an intersection between misogyny and all the other beliefs that assemble your average bigot. i've been thinking a lot about what another man i've got the unfortunate misery of knowing thinks about me and it's just ridiculous. men cannot stand a woman being better than them. inferiority complexes make anyone miserable, but a man with an inferiority complex to a woman is just a terrible thing. even in a liberal place that claims to be better off than somewhere in the deep south, the hatred of women from men is so ingrained in society it's hard to conceive of a world where it's not borderline natural. it's just a classic; man blaming woman for something that was the man's fault. not to air out all my dirty laundry here, but it's quite ridiculous if we think for even a minute. my performance doesn't have anything to do with yours, and you calling me pretentious is rich for someone who's got a notorious reputation as a slacker. anyhow, back to the original point of misogyny intersecting with other bigoted beliefs. this is really a natural line of thinking; if you hate women, there's obviously a good chance that'll extend elsewhere. the person i'm referencing here is no real exception. i know i mentioned before that queer men tend to think of their queerness as trumping any sort of misogyny that they could spew. that's not an attempt to be homophobic, and i doubt we could have a real conversation if you thought of it that way. minorities are not above criticism. anyhow, there's high comorbidity between misogyny and transphobia & homophobia. that's probably in part since there's just a ton of misogyny ingrained into society (as i've said) in general, but there's just a level of added cruelty when misogyny's combined with either of the two. sissy as an insult doesn't just target a perceived lack of masculinity but furthermore a perceived presence of femininity. even in cases not directly linked back to misogyny there's still an undercurrent of it. it's exhausting and lord knows it'll only get worse. because i'm petty and hold grudges, i'll just end this by saying that i hope both of those men i mentioned continue to be bested by women in their lives. deserve nothing less.